17 Nov

When Nothing Goes Right…..Go Left

I moved to Williamstown just over a year ago with my two daughters.  They are bright and fun.  Full of life.  Williamstown is  filled with academics, entrepreneurs, artists and genuinely fascinating people. The landscape of the Berkshires and these people drew me here like a bear to honey. I wanted a place for my girls to thrive and that’s exactly what they are doing.

Let’s just say that the results of the presidential #election last week were not met with joy here. There was an electric WTF energy in the air.

Here’s what I think. Every single thing that happens in life presents an opportunity. An opportunity to be still for a moment to ask why? What am I here in this moment to do? Everything is an opportunity for change. Ironically it’s the things that piss you off the most, the things that hurt you to your bones, the things that bring you to your knees that are the greatest gifts.

My philosophy is hanging on the wall next to my bed….

When nothing goes right < go left

Simple. We cannot sit still and complain. We cannot bitch and moan and blame others for the way we feel. We cannot take it upon ourselves to fix what we think is wrong with the way another person talks or behaves or even votes. I did that for a long time in my marriage. I poured energy into thinking that if I could just change the way he behaved, the way he thought, the way he spoke….we would be happy again. That was pretty f$%#ing egotistical of me.

Then it hit me. How about I look in the mirror? Who was I becoming? What did I want? Why was I pinning all my hopes for joy on a person and a choice we made in our 20’s?

I sat still. I read everything I could. I stopped trying to drown out the hurt. I let myself feel it. I sat still for the first time in years and asked myself what I wanted. I fought feelings of selfishness because every once in a while, while I sat still, I could recognize myself again. I didn’t want to lose that. So when it was suggested that I was becoming someone my husband didn’t recognize, that I was being selfish; I had to make a choice, because at the same time, friends were saying I looked different, better, brighter….

I was committed to the path I chose in the first half of my life, but it wasn’t going well for either of us. Nothing was going right….so I went left.

I believe that action is everything. Words and promises don’t excite me. We have to gather up the strength to just do something different. We have to create new habits. A new habit takes will power, because you are going against your path of least resistance. The good news is, it only takes discipline long enough for it to become a habit. Then it’s auto pilot baby.

I like to sleep in. I complained that I didn’t have time to take for myself because motherhood is really demanding. I got tired of feeling rushed and foggy. So I get up early now. I make time. I wasn’t happy with my body. So I changed what I ate and moved more. I was not happy with my job. I started my own thing.  First Studio Be in Maine and now Berkshire Fitness Company in Williamstown. I wasn’t happy in my marriage, we tried and tried….it wasn’t right anymore, so I went left.

So my friends, if you took the time to read this. Make to the time to sit still. Be in whatever you are in. Find something that isn’t going right…..and go left.

Be Well,